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November 1, 2010
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You Might Be A Liberal If You…

…think the government can spend its way out of debt.

…believe we need to fight big business with big government.

…claim not to be a socialist, but still want the government to regulate the economy.

…defend Obama by arguing "you only hate him because he's black!"

…criticize people who call Obama "Hitler," yet had no problem calling Bush "Hitler."

…worship wealthy celebrities who preach redistribution of wealth.

…think Janeane Garofalo is as intelligent as she is attractive (on second thought, that's an accurate analogy).

…think Fox News is biased because Keith Olbermann told you it was.

…threw out your radio when Air America went off the air.

…think Sarah Palin is the devil incarnate.

…label every conservative as a fascist, yet possess no understanding of fascism.

…think Bush was the dumbest president ever, yet was smart enough to orchestrate the largest inside job that is allegedly 9/11.

…think the bureaucrats who run the Department of Motor Vehicles or post office are qualified to run our healthcare system.

…believe our healthcare system needs to emulate Great Britain's (where hospitals flip the bed sheets over to save money) or Canada's (where doctors have lotteries to see which family to treat).

…think the human fetus is no more significant than a tumor and an abortion is no more morally questionable than a tonsillectomy.

…think a cow or chicken has more of a right to live than a human fetus.

…think An Inconvenient Truth and The Day After Tomorrow are both scientifically-accurate movies.

…want the country to invest in alternative energy sources, except nuclear energy.

…think it's fair to force somebody off their property because an endangered beetle also lives there.

…want to legalize marijuana but ban guns.

…find burning the Koran offensive, but not building a mosque near the site of an Islamic terrorist attack.

…are against giving jobs to foreigners overseas, yet have no problem giving jobs to foreigners in our own country.

…want to give African-Americans and other minorities equal access to jobs by giving them special treatment in hiring.

…think communism or anarchy are good ideas gone bad.

…find it more patriotic to burn the flag rather than salute it.
Inspired by Jeff Foxworthy.

Feel free to leave your own "you might be a liberal if..." in the comment section below.
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:iconrottencanidz:
RottenCanidz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You, my friend, are 100% correct on that.
Reply
:iconchiminix:
Chiminix Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I used to go to a very liberal charter school, and actually had to transfer to a public school because I was so fed up with the people there. I've seen...

-People whine and complain about intolerance then bash Christians within the span of a minute.
-One of my teachers deliberately embarrassing and singling me out. She didn't get in trouble because she was a lesbian.
-Someone get away with embarrassing me by cussing me out in front of teachers who did nothing. I got suspended for telling him to go away.
-People who won't eat meat because killing living things is evil yet ironically support killing unborn children.
-A teacher get after me for being disrespectful and offensive because I placed a wine cork on the mass grave marker of forty men who died slaughtering five-hundred Indian men, women, and children.
-Many people whine and cry about being offended by many stupid things.
-Teachers and other staff single me out for unknown reasons (I speculate whether it has to do with me being the only conservative there.)

That was the worst school I'd been in. Good riddance.
Reply
:iconblamethe1st:
BlameThe1st Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Good riddance, indeed.
Reply
:iconyoyonah:
yoyonah Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
As a political centrist, I love this :) .
Reply
:iconblamethe1st:
BlameThe1st Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks! ;)
Reply
:iconyoyonah:
yoyonah Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are most welcome sir.
Reply
:iconreed-rankin:
Reed-Rankin Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Replace " liberal" with idiot that's when the fun starts
Reply
:iconblamethe1st:
BlameThe1st Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL! :D
Reply
:iconcosmic--chaos:
Cosmic--Chaos Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You might be an elitist douche if...

-You mock these people without taking the time to know them. Everyone's different.
-You use stawmen arguments all the time.

I don't believe in most of these things, and I'm a liberal. Shocker!!!
Reply
:iconblamethe1st:
BlameThe1st Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
To be fair, I wrote this two years ago, and my views have changed since then. I wouldn't exactly consider these people "liberals." Liberal is not a bad word. Most of the Founders were liberal, at least in the classic sense. These people, however, are not liberal, just insane. Which is why I have since adopted the term "libtarded moonbat" to differentiate between real liberals and these folks.
Reply
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