For the record: the following story
is satirepure fiction! But considering how atheists in the past have sued to remove Mother Teresa from postage stamps
and crossbeams from Ground Zero
, it wouldn't surprise me the least if this was real.
ROCHESTER, NYThe secular advocacy group North American Atheists has filed suit against a telephone pole on the grounds that it "violates the separation of church and state." NAA President David Goldman says, "It looks a Christian cross and it's on government property. Case closed."
When asked why the atheist group decided to sue the pole itself rather than the telephone company or the state, he replied, "Grrrr! It will pay!"
The pole has sparked controversy among area residents. Some see it as a clear violation of the separation of church and state. Others see it as a means to get phone wires to their houses. "It sort of looks like a cross," says Jay Banworth. "And this country was not founded on Christian principles. It's got to go."
"It's just a telephone pole," says Banworth's wife Marge. "I don't think Jay understands that that's where the wires come in."
The NAA rose to national prominence last year when it sued a shrub, for accidentally catching fire on government property. "That was a clear allusion to the burning bush in the Book of Exoduson government property," says Goldman. "That bush is gone now."
The suit was withdrawn as the bush quickly burned to the ground.